


Storyteller

by ramonaspeaks



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Existential Crisis, Fluff, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 21:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2596817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramonaspeaks/pseuds/ramonaspeaks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil tells Dan stories on bad nights.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Storyteller

Phil would tell Dan stories during his worst nights.  
  
It wasn’t something that he started doing deliberately. He had no self-aggrandized vision about being the one to save Dan and chase away the feelings of despair that settled over him in the middle of the night. All Phil really wanted to do was give him a hug and reassure him that everyone felt this way at eighteen, but Dan lived too far away for hugs and his problems were too amorphous to be calmed with validating speeches.  
  
The storytelling just happened. There was a night when Dan called and he was quieter than normal. Phil felt a lump in his throat at the pressure of taking up a larger part in the conversation. He usually listened. He was good at listening.  
  
“I wish that I could just stop _thinking_.” Dan pressed the phone to his ear and closed his eyes. “Can you distract me?”  
  
Phil almost laughed because it sounded like such a line. He would have kissed him if they’d been in the same room. He would have nodded and pushed him onto his back and promised to make him forget his own name. Phil considered saying that but stopped himself. That probably wasn’t the type of distraction he wanted.  
  
“Maybe. I don’t know what to talk about.”  
  
“What did you do today?”  
  
Phil turned onto his side so he could use his other ear. He wished they were on Skype so that he could see him, but his laptop was complete shit and it was currently in the process of uploading his next video. Opening another program would be a bad idea.  
  
“I spent most of the day editing. I also googled red pandas for about an hour.”  
  
“Last week it was red foxes. Please tell me this isn’t becoming a _thing_ for you.”  
  
“You should dye your hair red and we’ll see what happens.”  
  
Dan laughed and it didn’t sound as loud as it normally would, but at least it was there. Phil sat up in bed and frowned at his computer because rendering was still stuck at 30% and hadn’t budged in minutes. He wondered if he should start the process over again and then realized that Dan still hadn’t responded and the silence was stretching out.  
  
“Sorry, I’m supposed to be distracting you. I’m not very good at this.”  
  
“It’s okay.” Dan paused and then continued in a rush. “I just want your voice in my head instead of my own. You could read from the dictionary and I’d listen. I don’t want to get off the phone, but I don’t have anything to say.”  
  
“I could tell you a story.”  
  
“How annoying am I being right now?” Dan asked. “Be honest.”  
  
“You’re not. I don’t want to stop talking either. What should it be about?”  
  
“Anything.”  
  
“I’m telling you a story about a red panda then.” Phil glanced over at his laptop with a jolt of excitement when he saw the frozen progress bar begin to move. “And you can’t complain.”  
  
“I won’t.” Dan curled up on his side and pulled his duvet up to his shoulders.  
  
Dan listened in silence. All of the churning thoughts that were threatening to overwhelm him began to settle into place as he lost himself in the story. He began to drift and Phil’s words faded into the background of his dreams. He could only hear the cadence of his voice, the way it rose and fell like music.  
  
Phil spoke until his throat ached and the glass of water that had been sitting on his bedside table was empty. He wasn’t sure how long Dan had been drifting in and out of sleep, but people had been commenting on his new video for over an hour when they finally said good night.  
  
——  
  
 _"Tell me another story."_  
  
 _“About?”_  
  
 _“You pick.”_  
  
If Phil ever told one that was sad, it was just to make the inevitable happy ending more satisfying. The meaning was always the same whether he was summarizing Norse mythology, or reiterating fairy tales, or describing a fantasy world that he created on the spot. He wanted Dan to know that everything would be okay. He weaved reassurance into each word without even trying.  
  
 _"Tell me the one about finding Yggdrasil again. I fell asleep before you got to the end last time."_  
  
 _“Dan, I’ve told you that one, like, four times.”_  
  
 _“Okay, fine. Maybe I just want to hear the ending again.”_  
  
Phil never sat down and planned things out in advance because he always secretly hoped that Dan would never ask again. He was too much of an optimist to expect that Dan would need another escape, so he always made things up as he went along. Sometimes he’d stumble on an idea that he thought was brilliant, something that could be turned into a video. He never did though because it had become something they did together, and he didn’t want to share it with anyone else.  
  
 _"What was your favorite story when you were little?"_  
  
 _“Probably one that my mum made up.”_  
  
 _“Do you remember? I want to hear it.”_  
  
Stories are powerful. Dan grew attached to some of them and would ask to hear them again. He’d hit the speakerphone button and close his eyes, mouthing the words he knew into his pillow.  
  
——  
  
Sometimes they were on the phone. Sometimes they were on Skype. After more time passed, sometimes they were even lying side by side in Phil’s bed.  
  
“Tell me a story about us.”  
  
“Us?” Phil asked.  
  
Dan nodded and moved his head closer so that their noses touched. Phil took a deep breath. He knew why Dan was upset. The past few days had been perfect and he didn’t want Dan to leave any more than he wanted to go back home.  
  
Phil wondered if he should retreat into fantasy. They could be vampires, or fighting off an alien invasion, or cave explorers in Antarctica. Then he thought about Dan blinking back tears on the train the next morning and he couldn’t let himself give in like that. Dan deserved more. He wanted to give him more.  
  
“We’re going to live together one day.”  
  
Dan’s eyes opened in surprise. “We are?”  
  
“Yeah.” Phil tightened his arms around Dan’s waist. “We’re going to move somewhere incredible. Maybe London. We’ll get an apartment together and we’ll make videos together and we’ll fall asleep together every night.”  
  
“Not having to say goodbye would be nice.”  
  
“We’re going to be happy.” Phil leaned forward so their lips were nearly touching and Dan could feel them moving as he spoke. “ _You_ will be happy again. That’s not just a story. I mean it.”  
  
Dan curled his fingers in Phil’s hair and kissed him before moving his head down and pressing it against Phil’s chest. Phil talked about their future, the jobs they would have and the pancakes they would cook and even the furniture they would buy. Dan listened as his voice grew softer and eventually dropped off.  
  
“Phil?” Dan whispered. He smiled when there was no response but didn’t move off his chest. “Thank you.”  
  
Dan closed his eyes and snuggled into him. He fell asleep quickly after that, lost in the steady rhythm of Phil’s breathing.  
  
——  
  
It became less common after Dan dropped out of university. His amorphous fears had started to take shape and transformed into problems that he might actually be able to solve.  
  
Dan still had bad nights but the stories became a part of his past. When he found himself trapped in his thoughts, he wouldn’t look for an escape. Instead he would open his laptop and start typing. He planned videos about the meaning of life. He thought of things he wanted to create and people he wanted to inspire.  
  
He remembered the last words to a story that Phil had told him. _It’s not that she got better, but things became easier._ It had been one of his favorites, one that he had requested dozens of times.  
  
Dan laughed because he couldn’t even remember any of the characters or the plot anymore. He could only hear Phil saying those final words, whispered into the phone or directly in his ear like a promise.  
  
——  
  
Phil was sure that he would fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, even if it was bouncing uncomfortably on the air mattress that he had just spent his remaining energy pumping full. His arms ached from hauling boxes and his head was throbbing from dehydration but he was too exhausted to walk into the kitchen and they hadn’t even unpacked their glasses yet.  
  
“There you are.” Phil didn’t bother opening his eyes when he felt himself lift slightly as the weight of Dan’s body depressed the other side of their makeshift bed. “I’m too tired to say anything except good night.”  
  
“Good night,” Dan responded.  
  
Phil almost groaned because Dan sounded like he’d been crying and he wanted to ask what was wrong but he also desperately wanted to fall asleep. “You okay?”  
  
“Yeah. Better than that. I can’t believe we actually made it here.”  
  
Phil opened his eyes and laughed because he agreed that it had been a long trip from Manchester to London, but it was a bit dramatic to think they might not have made it. Then he saw Dan’s wild expression and watery eyes, and it clicked what he actually meant.  
  
“Dan.” Phil pulled him closer. “Come here.”  
  
“Do you ever just…” Dan’s voice was choked with tears as he finally surrendered to the sobs that had been threatening to overwhelm him. “We actually did it, like, stayed together and now we’re here.”  
  
“I know,” Phil murmured. He just barely managed to hold back his own tears, and he kept thinking _remember this, remember every detail_ because he knew even as it was happening that this was a story he’d want to tell again one day.  
  
“I love you.” The mattress squeaked and hissed as Dan rolled toward him. “Phil, I really just love you so much.”  
  
——  
  
 _"Do you remember the night when we first moved to London, Dan?"_  
  
 _“The air mattress had a fucking leak in it and we woke up on the floor of the lounge.”_  
  
 _“Before that. I’m talking about before we fell asleep.”_  
  
 _“I was joking, Phil. Of course I remember.”_  
  
 _“You had the craziest expression I’ve ever seen. I didn’t even realize you were crying at first because I was so focused on why you looked like a wild animal. Then you kissed me and it finally hit me too. We’d actually done everything that we said we were going to do.”_  
  
 _“Are you telling me a bedtime story?”_  
  
 _“Yeah, so be quiet and listen. You’d been complaining about needing a haircut for weeks and I was thinking about that when you got on top of me because you hair was falling into my face. I kept pushing it behind your ears but it would just fall forward again. It was getting in my mouth every time you kissed me.”_  
  
 _“Is that why you pushed me off the mattress?”_  
  
 _“The floor was more comfortable anyway. And I didn’t push you. We rolled off together. I’d been exhausted up until I’d opened my eyes but then I had this burst of energy. I couldn’t stop touching you. And I was laughing and you kept crying. Well, I couldn’t tell if you were still crying but I tasted tears every time we kissed.”_  
  
 _“They were happy tears.”_  
  
 _“I know. It was one of the best moments of my life.”_  
  
 _“Because you were you convinced you had a promising career in prophecy?”_  
  
 _“Obviously, that was it. I remember thinking that I wanted my mind to be like a camera so that I could press record and never forget anything. Or pause so I could freeze that moment forever. I never used to let myself say ‘happily ever after’ because endings are depressing even when they’re happy, but I wouldn’t have minded if that was ours.”_  
  
 _“Phil?”_  
  
 _“Hm?”_  
  
 _“I still like when you tell me stories, even when they’re on good nights.”_  
  
 _“Yeah, me too.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr.


End file.
